Nothing prepares you for motherhood quite like staring at your living room, covered in toys and children running around shrieking in excitement. Prior to having children, I read every parenting books possible to soak up as much information, thinking that I would be better prepared for what’s to come. Boy, was I wrong.

 

messy-mother

Cut to today where my living room floor is always covered with toys, my favourite shirt is stained with homemade Spaghetti Bolognese… I was definitely not prepared for the flood of emotions that comes with motherhood.

Guilt

Whether you are a working mom who feels guilty for not being with your child or a stay at home mom who feels overwhelmed and wants to run and hide in the closet for a minute, guilt is never far away. In desperate times, we may find ourselves making up for these guilty pangs with “pacifiers” that come in many forms. For me, my go-to is always the promise of a new toy. Call it what you will, bribery or pampering, these toys come in handy when I need to keep the kids occupied.

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Worry

Looking at the daily headlines can send me into a spiral of panic and I will feel the need to check up on my kids, even though I know I’ve personally put them down for their naps in the next room. I still feel the need to peep at the baby monitor just to double check. Did I mention that I check on the batteries about 3 times a day to make sure it is working properly? Yes, I am a mother and I am a neurotic mess.

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Self-doubt

Being a parent in this 21st century digital era is a whole new playing field. How do I as a parent take advantage of technology to fill my child with knowledge while imparting traditional values? Especially when it comes to restricting screen time, the struggle is real.

Recently, I gave my daughter an instant camera. So, whenever she runs past her allocated TV time, I can divert her attention to another productive activity. She loves picking up her little camera and snapping away, while I love listening to her telling me about them afterwards.

img_4771-copyThis was from when Alissa caught Dad snoring on the couch after a long day at work, think she was trying to do a selfie with Daddy?

img_4775-copy#Wefie! Yes, she knows how to selfie already.

img_4772-copyShe is also obsessed with the train, the only battery operated toy that can hold her attention for hours… thank goodness!

These polaroids warm my heart every day. Listening to her animate the story behind each unfocused still feels like returning to my dock and getting my batteries recharged. No amount of sleep can give me more strength than spending quality time with my little girl.

The most precious thing I’ve realised as a parent is that we are so lucky to have an endless storage of energy that’s our kids. Being a parent is undoubtedly an emotional roller coaster, it is okay to feel guilty, tired and overwhelmed, it is alright to feel like you want to give up sometimes. The most important thing is we always come back for them just like how they would always turn around and give us that glance before running off with their play mates.